i'm going home...

tomorrow...er, today. cuz it's 3:30am. friday night is my night to go home for christmas. i will be riding in my sister's car with her, her husband, and their dog oliver. hopefully oliver will be subdued. i believe he will be, cuz they're planning on giving him something to sleep. soooo yeah. i can't wait to spend a week and a half at home, with my family all there, and all kinds of food, and fun, and presents. although i asked for everything i'm getting for christmas this year, i can only remember about a quarter of the things i asked for, so it really will be a surprise. worries of getting a job whisked all thought of christmas and presents from my mind for the past few months, but now i'm finally just accepting where i am in life and where God is taking me, and even though i don't yet have a job, i am at peace with it, and i know God will give me something when i get back.

the thing is, i've accepted the idea of a more humbling position: waiter. for the past few months, i've been unemployed, and looking back, this is mostly because of a pride issue. it's been going thru my brain that since i'm a college graduate, i should definitely be able to get a nice office job with a nice salary. i think God has had something different in mind for me, however. i realized recently that i felt entitled to such a job. almost that it was below me to consider a job like a waiter or something like that. but right now, i'm feeling completely at ease with the idea; i'm even kind of excited by the prospect of simplifying my life, stripping off some of my many commitments, and devoting a lot of time (even if it takes more than 40 hours a week) to a job. so take that, corporate america!! i don't feel the need to have a white collar job! obviously i don't want to be a waiter or something along those lines forever, but i'm excited about it right now. the only thing i have to do now is go apply wherever i can, once i'm back in town after the holidays.

i don't mind serving people in the least. at one time, i was a little turned off by the idea of having a blue collar type of job after college, but i think God has broken me down and helped me realize there's nothing wrong with serving others. in fact, isn't that kind of one of the big points Jesus makes in the new testament?? there was this one time that someone i know said to me--rather tactlessly and rudely, i must say--that if it came down to me and him being considered for a white collar job, they would be much more likely to take him because the only experience i've ever had has been in blue collar service jobs. at the time, i was really offended. and looking back, it was still a really rude thing for him to say, but i don't feel offended anymore. so what if the only types of jobs i had while i was a teenager were blue collar jobs?? aren't those the kinds of jobs that teenagers are almost exclusively hired for???

all that to say this: i am excited for what God has for me. even though i may be humbled right now to take a type of job that i wasn't expecting to have to take after graduating from a private university, i plan on doing whatever i end up doing with all the strength and hard work i can muster. i know, after all, that God sees what we do with the little things, and He then trusts us with the bigger things. who knows--this may be the very thing that prepares me for something much greater further on in God's plan for me.

so in this christmas season, when we look back upon the greatest story ever told, and we see our Savior born into very humble beginnings, it makes it easier to see that God can use us for great things even if He starts us out in a humbling position.

merry christmas, and sorry for the long post. at least i got it done before the new year.