when it rains, it pours (freezing rain)...

it's no secret that i have strong negative feelings about the quality of work that the road crews in springfield do. not only do they not salt the roads prior to ugly winter weather....they don't even salt them AFTER ugly winter weather!!

case in point: the bridge on kimbrough connecting trafficway to chestnut expressway was a SOLID SHEET OF ICE when my dodge stratus skidded to a halt nestled in the crook of a previous wreck in a black toyota suv. i feel so bad for the older couple in the suv--i was the second person to hit them within 10 minutes. the driver's side of their vehicle was smashed to bits by a black bmw that had skidded an additional 75 yards or so along the bridge after careening around the bend on the martin luther king, jr bridge. in addition, their rear left tire was flat because of the same incident.

by the time i skidded into them, there was no more damage to be done. they actually told me they wouldn't even claim anything on me because i "didn't do any more damage than had already been done". thank God for kind-hearted people.

the only damage done to my car was the left mirror being popped off. now it's just hanging by the wires that control the mirror. surprisingly it still works :-)

also, the front left hubcap is chipped and the tire is bent in a 2 inch length along the radius. i think my alignment may be off too. dang it.

i guess it could have been much worse. i'm surprised my car didn't get scratched up or anything!

now comes the waiting game til i can get it into the shop to get an estimate on repairs. i don't even care if the mirror looks pretty--as long as it stays on my car. oh well...i guess you just have to take it as it comes.

anyways, i hope everyone has a fantasticly merry christmas, seeing as it is now christmas eve!! happy christmas!!

well well well...

so it seems i haven't blogged for over 6 months...

i want to say i'm sorry. my sister especially has been guilting me about it. and i know that "guilting" isn't a word.

well a lot has happened in the past 6 months. i have grown to become a lot better at the job i mentioned getting in my last post. it has also gotten colder since may. my car has crapped out on me multiple times, i am a single male again, i have started doing improv once more, i have been to 5 more weddings since i last posted, i am still tall, i have gained back about 8-10 pounds of the 45 that i lost since graduating college, i have learned a lot more about my personality and how i relate or don't relate to God, and i have noticed a few pure white hairs on both sides of my head.

all in all, a very interesting couple of months. are there regrets? of course. but man i'll tell you, i wouldn't trade the experiences for anything. that's what makes life interesting. i'm still excited to see what the future holds, because i realize i still have no idea where God might lead me in the future. i only hope i can keep a positive outlook on things, and i also hope i can get even closer to God. He's got the inside scoop on everything, so i figure it's a pretty good idea to stay tight with Him.

i will say that i wish i would spend more time with friends. if anyone reads this and i haven't hung out with you in a long time, hit me up!!

so friends, i'm going to do my absolute best to keep up with this blogging. oh goodness. i'm gonna go eat some cookies.

p.s. - i can't wait for christmas! :-D

i have a job!

a real job! i can't believe it; i just can't believe it. God is awesome! and on top of that, everyone on staff at north point has expressed just how excited they are that i was chosen for hire.

btw, the position i now hold is "media coordinator", meaning i get to edit videos and do all kinds of fun stuff like that! and i get paid for it!! i'm soooo excited!

in addition to all that goodness, i get to stay in springfield, near my beautiful girlfriend, whom i love so very much :-)

thank you, thank you, thank you, God.

wow. i mean, wow.

God is SOOO faithful!! last time i visited my blog, i was without residence. well that changed. big time.

on monday, april 28th, i was driving around searching for a place to live; apartment, room, street corner with a tent on it. all were way too expensive for what i could afford working part time, and all required at least a 48 hour application processing/background check period. none of that really helped me much. it wasn't until i called one of my friends from church to see if they knew of anyone renting out a room that God really led me right where He wanted me.

as it turns out, this guy happened to be leaving in the middle of may and would be gone for three months up to rhode island for navy chaplaincy training. this meant that he needed to find a person to mow his lawn for the summer. also, he had an extra bedroom that was not being used.

long story short, he told me that i could move in immediately, and live there rent-free for the entire summer (til about mid to late august), and all i would have to do is pay utilities and mow his lawn. wow. WOW.

God is so faithful. not only did He provide for me at just the right moment, enabling me to lean on Him and trust in Him completely to provide for me, but He did so in such an amazing way. i am now able to live for under $100 a month. incredible.

add to that the amazing opportunities i've been given in the past week or so at north point, and i can see even more clearly that God has me in His hands in such a powerful and all-encompassing way. i never have to worry about where i will live, or how i will pay my bills, or what i should do with my life. placing all of my efforts into pleasing God and living fully for His will, i can never fail.

thank you so much, Lord.

nowhere to run to, baby; nowhere to hide...

i have 2 days--2 DAYS--to find a place, move in, and clean out my old apartment. i am FREAKING OUT.

***
God, i really need your help right now. i know that you are the same as you were yesterday, which is the same as you were a few weeks ago when you provided enough money for me to pay my bills, and you're the same as you were when you provided me with an income.

please don't let me lose hope now.

i'm trusting you; help me remember that you're faithful in all things.
***

if anyone who reads this knows of a place that i could move into in the next day or two, that'd be wonderful. i would be so grateful.

cheezing it up...

so i'm going to osceola cheese factory tomorrow. i have an interview with a church in lee's summit, mo, and that's where we're meeting...at least initially, since it's the easiest thing to find in osceola. lee's summit is just outside of kansas city, for those who don't know that. they have an open children's pastor position, so i sent them my resume. i don't know how i feel about this place. i've been there before, and it's a good church, but i hesitate to say that i may already feel that this is not the place for me. obviously i'm trusting that God will lead me to the right place, and more importantly that He WON'T lead me to the WRONG place.

i'm pretty bad at all this faith stuff. it's difficult. the one and only thing that's so comforting about this entire situation, though, is that even when we have little or no faith, God is still faithful to us. as long as i'm seeking Him and His will for my life, i can't go wrong. He's taken care of everything--and it hasn't even happened yet.

that is extraordinarily comforting and reassuring.

i only pray that God will make it abundantly clear to me whether this place is for me or not. the thing is, i have no idea how to model a children's ministry. sure, i participate in one aspect of the children's ministry at north point (specifically, portraying a recurring character in the dramatic element of the curriculum), but i don't know the first thing about the other aspects of an effective children's ministry. i know God will give me the ability to do whatever He's called me to do; i'm just not sure that children's ministry is that thing. i know that God has called me to minister to youth....but whether that is specifically teenagers, or whether that could also be children's ministry, i'm not sure. i'm just trying to leave myself open to any possibility.

on the other hand, i know at least the basics of how to structure an effective youth ministry. by no means do i consider myself extremely knowledgeable, and i know that there are things that are most certainly going to take me by surprise, but i could definitely make a go of it.

i also have another prospect...an assembly of god church in avon, indiana. that's just west of indianapolis. google map it if you don't believe me! the way they describe themselves, they sound an awful lot like north point. that's probly the most appealing thing about them. i'd be lying, though, if i said that was the only appealing thing. it just seems like a welcoming church. there are other things that i can't quite put words to yet, but they make me feel good about this place. i kind of hope it works out, even more than the other places i have on the burners at this point, even though it's the furthest away from each of the places in the country where i have family or dear friends or my girlfriend. i just feel like if i was ministering at this place, everything would be right. i don't know why i feel that, especially since it's so far away. i guess the good thing about its location is that it is right near indianapolis (cool city), and it's half way between springfield and pittsburgh, so i could easily make about a 7 hour drive to either of those places, either to visit my sister, or to visit my family.

i need guidance.

God, please guide me. give me strength. i'm so close now (at least it feels that way)....help me endure through the end of this trial. and thank You for providing for me. i love You.

STUCK

LOOK AT THIS.

question: take 2

so where do i go now? i don't know quite yet. that's why i'm asking You.

do You wanna maybe give me a hint?? or at least a slightly open door??? i'm really confused.

God is faithful

the title says it all; God, please give me the wisdom and patience to wait upon You and Your movement.

patience, patience...

that is the overriding theme in my life right now. it seems that God can't get enough of telling me that.

BE PATIENT.

i'm very eager to be a youth pastor, but i'm realizing with each passing day that God wants me to be patient. the right position will come along. in the meantime, i have so very much to learn about youth ministry. i'm eager to be a youth pastor, but so very nervous about it at the same time, knowing that when i'm in charge of a group of students, i'm responsible for sharing Christ's love with them. i don't want to mess that up.

BE PATIENT.

a very unexpected friendship/relationship/"we're-holding-off-on-actually-making-this-a-relationship-right-now-until-we-discover-what-God-wants-us-to-do" has brought almost grotesque amounts of joy into my life recently. she's such a blessing.

in regards to the ridiculously hyphenated phrase directly above, we both feel that God is telling us to BE PATIENT. we've been doing this the right way from the start--praying for wisdom concerning the 'relationship', and we both feel that God is telling us to take it slow.....extremely slow. therefore, we're friends. the main reason we're being so careful is that neither of us wants to get in the way of the other. she has told me numerous times that she knows we're on different chapters in our lives and she doesn't want to hold me back from what God is doing in my life. i feel the same way towards her. i don't really know where God is leading me or when.

BE PATIENT.

if anyone has a minute or two to spare, please throw a prayer my (our) way.

God, give me patience......and yes, i realize the irony that by asking for patience, Lord, it's pretty likely that what You'll do is make me wait. touché.

moving on

as an update to all who have so feverishly been following my job search, i wish to announce....a few things, actually.

first and foremost, i am ceasing the job search in the traditional sense (aka- for a traditional job) and i will be commencing the search for a youth pastor position. where, you ask? well, i don't know where, which brings me to my second point.

second, i put in my "2 weeks" at the skinny. yes, that's right. this friday and saturday nite are the last chances anyone, including you, will ever have to see me on the skinny improv stage. it all ends with the mystery hour on saturday nite at 10:15. i've got to say, this was by far the toughest decision i had to make, but at the same time is the one i feel most confident about. God gave me a spiritual slap in the face while i was home over the holidays, and i'm completely sure this whole endeavor is what i need to be doing. while i love the skinny and all the people there, it is by far the thing that has been holding me (back) here.

so now i embark on a new mission: God's mission. it will without a doubt be utterly successful as long as i don't let myself get in the way and try to call the shots. i've been doing that since i graduated in may, and the result has been that half of my post-college life (aka- 4 out of the 8 months since graduation) has been spent unemployed.

i have no idea where i will end up. that's simultaneously the most exciting and the scariest part about this whole situation. i have nothing tying me here, but i also have no definite plans. i guess that's where trust and faith come in. if i do end up leaving springfield, though, i'll be sure to let anyone who might care know about it before i'm gone. in any case, this is going to be the beginning of the best part of my life.

God, give me the courage to depend fully on you. i've avoided that in the past, and it's been nothing but trouble thus far. help me to be more like You in every way. above all, help me to devote all of my energy to You and this calling you've placed on my life.


p.s. - on an unrelated note, i'm ecstatic that American Gladiators has officially made its way back onto television. Wolf is my favorite gladiator.