my back hurts
i feel like i'm being weighed down. all i want to do is lift it, but i can't. i keep trying on my own, but i keep becoming more and more accepting and content with what i have in my lap. that's not what i'm supposed to be. this isn't all that's out there for me. i have a lot more in store for me that God wants me to do.
present pressures prevent me from practicing perfect perception, foil my attempts at focusing fervently on the face of the One who created me, create cracks in the crust of my convictions.
i can't for the life of me concentrate long enough on God and His holiness for my prayers to be of very much tangible benefit. when i pray, i feel as if God hears me, but does nothing for now. it's infuriating to be forced to wait.
i just want to know with utmost certainty that God has plans in the works to take care of me, and to make me more in His image, and to provide for me materially but also spiritually and emotionally--filling me up with His joy. i don't find it easy to think of joy when i'm wondering whether my bills will be covered by the diminutive funds in my bank account. how long, o God, will You leave my prayers unanswered? how long will You wait before You show Your power? please, God, hear me.
for the record, i am now officially on an "on call" basis at work.
3 comments:
You know, I don't believe in god. But I do believe in you. You're great, and you're going to do great things no matter who you do them for.
10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. [b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 29:10-14
Isn't it strange that we only hear verse 11? When God was saying this to His people Jerusalem they were in captivity in Babylon - they were miserable crying out to the Lord and saying "what are you doing to us, have you left us???"
But God gives them this promise and says - when I give you that hope and that future only THEN will you call on me...
Dan I know how you feel totally!!! God promises to bless His children but also to give us DAILY bread (not a smorgesboard of food)- but I am confident that if you do 3 things you will start to hear some answers...
First: take time - make time to listen to God - don't schedule him out.
Second: Be willing to hear what He has to say even if it isn't what you have planned.
Third: Go!!! Who knows what He has in store for you - don't settle, don't be complacent!!!
You are such an amazing person Dan - I just happened upon your Blog from Jer's - I hope you don't mind me writing to you - I know exactly how you feel because I feel like this sooo much!!!! But try this - ask the Lord for something small - be fervent in your prayers - and when He blesses that small thing unto you then you will be encouraged!
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